"Everything seems to be working. Except me. I'm broken."
- Julie Anne Peters, By the Time you read this, I'll be Dead
Book Details:
Published May 17,2011 by Hyperion Book CH
240 pages
Book Synopsis:
Daelyn Rice is broken beyond repair, and after a string of botched suicide attempts, she's determined to get her death right. She starts visiting a website for "completer" -- www.through-the-light.com.
While she's on the site, Daelyn blogs about her life, uncovering a history of bullying that goes back to kindergarten. When she's not on the Web, Daelyn's at her private school, where she's known as the freak who doesn't talk.
Then, a boy name Santana begins to sit with her after school while she's waiting for her parents to pick her up. Even though she's made it clear that she wants to be left alone, Santana won't give up. And it's too late for Daelyn to be letting people into her life... isn't it?
National Book Award finalist Julie Anne Peters shines a light on how bullying can push young people to the very edge.
General Review:
When I bought this book I didn't really think much of it. I needed to have something to read and the cover intrigued me. I didn't read it all at once like I usually do. There were times when I had to just stop reading, I thought that maybe I didn't want to finish the book. My reasoning being that it made me face harsh realities that I never thought that I had to experience. I don't consider myself to have ever been a victim of bullying, however, I am not saying I was never bullied, I am saying that I don't consider myself a victim. I have learned through stories and apologies from others that I was in a way bullied and insulted but I never realized that was what was happening at the time. I believe that I had some ability to ignore insults... or I was too oblivious to recognize them (we'll go with the first cause it makes me feel like I have a superpower or something), so I never really gave much thought to bullying. Nowadays, we all see a huge fuss over bullying, I once acknowledged the existence of bullying like I acknowledged the existence of impoverished people in third world countries, however as I've grown I see the truth of the matter. This book was not the reason why I see and understand it, but it definitely gave me another perspective to the issue that makes it very real in my eyes.
Plot:
This story is about a girl who has been bullied all of her life and her attempt to take her own life. It reflects upon her decision and how she came upon that decision, while throwing a twist that makes her wonder about the true consequences about death and the inability to experience her life. The author took a few liberties with the story that seemed a bit unrealistic, but they were necessary to the plot because it was needed to tie everything together and give an explanation of why things were they way there were at the point in time. The descriptions and the situations were beautifully written, it made you feel like you were there experiencing the pain and embarrassment that Daelyn was experiencing and made you understand why she was so depressed and miserable, and why she was doing all that she was doing.
Characters:
The characters were a point of issue. Like I said before, the author took some liberties, not only with the plot, but with a few of the characters as well. Daelyn represents an extreme case of someone who has been bullied to the point of suicide, however she borders overly selfish at times. The parents are typical parents who mean well, but their flaw is that they don't realize that their attempts to help are done in all the wrong ways.They aren't as developed as they could have been in my opinion, this may have been intentional on the authors part, but they seemed too plastic to me. Santana, the persistent possible love interest, threatens to completely undermine Daelyn's whole plan. The reader truly wishes that he exists, however he nudges the line of over persistence and unrealistic; begging the reader to question his motives. Is that just his personality or was the author, again, taking too many liberties in order to make the story?
Final Thoughts:
This book is a rare find. It is extremely hard to find a book that makes you reflect upon your own life as much as you are concerned with the main character's life. You jump back and forth between wondering whether or not, in your own childhood, if you were the victim or the offender. Then, after realizing the truth of it, would you be able to live with it? It makes you think about what it would take for you to consider taking your own life and the reasons why you can't leave this life behind.
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